So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
