i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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