haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
