your room smells of hookers.
And success
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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