just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
where are my eyebrows?
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