I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
