I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
