she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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