you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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