Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize