Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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