My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
