Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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