He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
