Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
