What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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