Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
