ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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