Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
