I wannas sexs uuuuu
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
