Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
