So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize