And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I stole a fireplace last night.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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