They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
