THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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