Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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