Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
