I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm eating all of the evidence.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
