Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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