Me too!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Found your dick twin last night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
