just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize