Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
