the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
