covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
