But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
