I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
