I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Damn victory sex feels great
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
