He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
