and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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