my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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