My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
