Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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