I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
