Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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