he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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