She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
birth control should be required to get into college
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
