i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
