I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
