I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
