The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
