the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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