Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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