Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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