And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
