Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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