We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
