We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
